“Make Me” 10-9-08


I walk the line of beauty defined
I know it’s a broken road

You pick
You poke
You think I’m a joke
I know what you want me to be....

Bend me
Contort me
Try and abort me
I know what you want me to be....

Bare boned and boneless
I still will not regress
Go ahead and try to make me.....


Go ahead and try to make me
That way
If it’s not going work for you…

Go ahead,take away all that was there
You’re only igniting the fumes....

Things that you don't know....
Still, you think it’s just so

Well don’t you?

Don’t you?

....Go ahead, try to make me

“Forgive But Never Forget.”

19 years, “Where have they flown” you might say,
I reply “I don’t know” when it’s clearly a lie
Details and memories beneath year 5

You don’t know all the things,
Every detail, and tear, every fight, every fear
It was all the same to you
Wasn’t it though?


When you looked in my eyes, held me close,
Did you ever think that I was worth what you chose?
I guess the chance of change pranced out the window with your
Conscience that day
I was empty space to you

Call out to me; catch my reply
Call out to you; watch my words fly

My impact never there and neither were you.
Neither were you….

Lillian 12-31-09

White, white Lillian
Never stained...
Never broken...
Or beaten
Or ashamed

White, white Lillian
Does every teardrop fall with the rain?
Are you secretly dull as sweet Jane?
Sway a little Lillian, Don’t fray from sunrays Lillian
The dark is much too dirty, you’ll be stained

White, white Lillian
Never stained...
Never broken...
Or beaten
Or ashamed

Am I right my righteous Lillian?

........Or should you be ashamed?

As summer months fade into fall, do you die away, sleep like them all?

White Lillian,

Your white lies you still won't claim?



Kiss your precious leaves goodbye because,
It’s just a matter of time……
Fantasies, you see, cannot be tamed



White, white Lillian
Never stained
Never broken
Never beaten
Or ashamed……..

Are you white, white Lillian?
Are you white, white Lillian?

“LOVE” Oct. 18 2008

There’s only one feeling to describe
Everything I feel inside for you
And all the magic you make true
Only one thought runs through my mind when you
Run through the heartbeat that’s inside me
You guide me
How is it now that I can feel again?
In love,
For you I am I am,
I am in love with you
And all that surrounds you
Is Love
All that I am with you again
Is all that we have become,
For now and undone
In love
Before and after love
How is it all the lights light up again?
The dark no longer haunts me but now I see the stars
With you again
The night is something new again
Its love……..

Beautiful To You…..

I miss being beautiful to you
Standing in this empty shower
In a life devoured
By the pain of losing you

I miss that look in your eyes
How you could tell me that you were mine
Without speaking And I knew it was true
But more than anything I miss.....

I miss being beautiful to you


The sun doesn’t shine the way that it used to
(I know it sounds so cliché but it’s true)
Subdue these thoughts I have about you....
They don’t ever leave
Once I feel their gone I know they’ll be
Coming back to sleep
In bed with me
Haunting midnight dreams




And the moon doesn’t gleam the way that it used to
(I know it sounds so cliché but when I look to the sky I know it’s true)
I wonder if you might think so too.....
Across the seas, and a million streams somewhere out there is you


Do you ever miss the feel of me?
Wish that what was could still be?

I need the reason why
If this were right,
The starry night
Doesn’t love me like it used to......

Doesn't touch me like it used to.....


I miss a lot of things
Diamond rings
Football games

But more than anything

More than anything……..

I miss being beautiful to you

Chandler’s Song.

A glance out the window
The one I always do
But leaves change in the fall

Green, all that you used to be
Falling from trees I can see, You floating somewhere there
Without me

Birds, they fly far away
Why couldn’t they stay?
Answers may speak with the cold
Yet I, here, alone, on this grey day

Feel, feeling the scratch of your skin
Kissing the scars left within, this home of dry memories
Breaking and falling with leaves

Every last midnight and season
Has to give me one reason
For the frost I still greet on my lawn every morning


Coffee, and sweaters,
Dusty books and tables,
I wept on my floor, on my knees

And I see, you floating somewhere there without me…

Daffodil 1-18-09
Daffodil sits on my doorstep; a smile is sometimes all you need to get through
Wind blows the everlasting smell of summer without you, I want to
Run the fields I filled with cotton, dream the dreams when you came walking by me

And I know we often grow to love the things that we once hated, Don’t we?
I know, that even sometimes we try hard and still end jaded
So I guess that’s why we ought to part these trees these overhanging branches
Because, because I love you

Laundry’s clean and candles burning, happiness forever churning with time...
I know it’ll be fine
Cherry paisley, Blueberry wine
Dislike, discontent I can only ignore so many signs
But I don’t care
After all that wouldn’t be fair to me, Baby

Because I know, we often grow to love the things that we once hated, Don’t we?
I know, that even sometimes we try hard and still end jaded
So I guess, that’s why we ought to part these trees these overhanging branches
Because, because I love you

Leaping lizards, Peter Cottontail they’re just a real to me as this
Kiss me once, just one more time and please don’t make me beg for it
Sugar plums, and fireflies I would trade for that look in your eyes
Your kiss, your smell, Givenchy gel and old spice
I wouldn’t mind

Because I know, we often grow to love the things that we once hated, Don’t we?
I know, that even sometimes we try hard and still end jaded
So I guess, that’s why we ought to part these trees these overhanging branches
Because, because I love you
I do
Because, because I love you

Destiny

Walked along this road

Graveled and Paved

......to bad there's no difference underneath-

the lies and the scars; the way that you are

was beautiful at one time to me

I've seen all the plays; your Jackal and Hyde

Listened to every song and sang as I cried

You could spell out your name a thousand other ways.....

But it won't change the way it sounds to me

Pick those petals and watch them fall

......I won't be there, after all

It's not on me if you're hiding from the summer sun

Yes, films are fake and love is weak

You might as well laugh the tears off your cheek

Loving like it's so hard isn't how it was meant to be

Destiny can find her own way

I'm tired of steering her wheels

What has to be...

What's got to be...

What will be, will be

But I've got a feeling that it's not You and Me.